The Way Sleep Finds Me

A “can do attitude” is the natural byproduct of what is commonly known as the protestant work ethic – an ethic that assumes that where there are idol hands, the devil must be at work. And whereas, a well-intended virtue is behind the inspiration of such an ethos, it invariably fosters the knee-jerk reaction of “don’t just stand there –do something!” A reaction, more often than not, fraught with unintended consequences. I liken this unto the commonly employed vacuous bromide “Make a difference!” An ambiguous admonition so completely devoid of moral discernment that it could be reasonably argued that Adolf Hitler “made a difference” . . . so maybe “doing something” isn’t always the best policy.

My point isn’t to promote a laissez faire sensibility, but rather to suggest that a slowing of our reflexive impulse to take action might allow us a moment’s discernment to determine what the actual problem might be, so that an actual solution might be determined. And trust me when I tell you – I’ve lived long enough to know that, more often than not, it is the clamoring voices calling for immediate action, who inevitably are the ones, almost without exception, who jump to the wrong conclusion . . . and then impose their solution on the rest of us. So it’s best to remember – wisdom is never in a hurry.

The wise are always capable of distinguishing between what can be changed and what cannot . . . and never confuses the two. Wisdom knows that we can’t change (fix) one another – we can only become an inviting expression of being changed. It also knows what can be held, and what must be let go. And it knows that the most meaningful lessons learned, are the ones we’re not even trying to learn. In this way, wisdom is far more identifiable by what it doesn’t do or say. Like the wisdom of sleep – you can’t find it by looking for it.

The problem with trying to fall asleep – is that “trying to fall” is oxymoronic . . . and if you’re trying to sleep – you’re doing it wrong. It’s taken me a long time to learn the art of sleep – learning to power down my conscious mind so that my subconscious mind can begin the process of curating my dreams. The trick is in letting go of each thing as if placing each one into God’s hands – offering my grateful prayers as the whispering dark lowers my body into the stillness, for a few small repairs. This is the way sleep finds me – in a state of contented surrender . . . I give myself to it, unconditionally.

This is also the way love finds me – one by one I hand over to God everything I seek to control, knowing each to be an impediment. Because in the same way that the mind can come up with many foolish reasons for withholding sleep – the mind comes up with reasons for holding God, and those he places in our lives, at arm’s length. But the love of God bids me come without hesitation into his presence, so that the necessary repairs of my heart can be made. So that I might know myself as his beloved and be filled with the overwhelming desire to see his Kingdom come . . . where love is all!

. . . and love never fails

2 thoughts on “The Way Sleep Finds Me

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